They say there’s no such thing as a dumb question, but I find that people ask dumb questions all the time. Questions like “Do these pants make me look fat?” (Answer: “No, it’s probably your fat that makes you look fat.” And obviously, this answer can never be spoken aloud. I digress.)
But a definitely-not-dumb question folks sometimes ask me is “Can retractable awnings withstand wind?” After all, a beautiful new awning is an important investment, which will increase your property value, lower your monthly utility bills, and make you the envy of the neighborhood without making you look fat.
Also, it provides that much-loved shade out there on the deck or patio, which might well save you even more money (on sunburn cream).
So if a mighty gust of wind were to, say, wad up your wonderful new awning and toss it into the back yard like a giant used tissue, well, that would not be good. So it’s worth asking whether your awning will be able to take the wind we often get here in God’s Country (the Colorado Front Range).
The answer is “No, it’s probably your fat that makes you look fat.” No, wait, wrong question. The answer is still “No,” though. “No, your retractable awning might well be mangled by high winds and end up looking like a bad modern-art project.”
So does that mean you should forget the whole notion of being the coolest family on the block by having an attractive new retractable awning professionally installed over your outdoor living space?
Perish the thought!
You should probably get the kind of awning that can protect itself from the wind, though. And for that, you’ve come to the right blog.
While you’re over there fretting about the wind, don’t forget the other types of attack Mother Nature might levy against your new awning: Hail, ice storms, and severe downpours can also wreak havoc and wreck your awning. (I’d just like to point out that you rarely see “wreak” and “wreck” in the same sentence.)
But guess what usually precedes these other weather threats? You don’t have to guess – you already know. That’s right: It’s high wind.
When a hail or severe thunderstorm is moving into your area, you usually get fair warning because you are knocked off your riding mower by those gusty winds. In fact, the mower itself might be knocked into the neighbor’s yard, which might be good, because he really should be mowing more often anyway.
Or, imagine this: You’ve just sat down to a nice lunch at your favorite football-watching watering hole, when suddenly the skies outside darken and the weather stomps its way into your neighborhood. You don’t even know it! And you left that awning open. Disaster.
The point is that wind is your awning’s Natural Enemy Number One. It’s bad for your awning all by itself, and it often brings other bad friends with it to help with the wreaking and wrecking.
But there’s good news!
You can get a cheap retractable awning and put it up yourself – or attempt to do so – but for all the reasons mentioned above, plus the fact that this approach might make you look fat, you should not do that.
You should get a sturdy, top-of-the-line retractable awning and have it professionally installed by your friends at [site-name], making sure to get a model that could be installed with weather sensing equipment.
That’s right: Today’s best retractable awnings can sense when the wind is kicking up, and close themselves, protecting your investment from whatever Mother Nature is throwing their way.
This means that, while you’re retrieving your riding mower, or pounding down the last of those buffalo wings during the fourth quarter, it won’t matter whether you forgot to close your awning.
It’s just one more way your awning has you covered!
IMPORTANT NOTE: You should never leave your awning open when you’re asleep, away from home, or trying to get your lawnmower back from your neighbor. If there’s a power outage, your awning’s super-cool weather sensing technology won’t work!
Retractable awnings hate wind. But new technology means they can protect themselves from the harsh gusts we often get here in our beautiful part of the world. So don’t take a chance! Call [site-name] Company today, and learn how we can outfit your outdoor living space with the right self-protecting awning for your property. It’s a breeze!